Using The Teachers Classroom Language at Home

The Babywise Friendly Blog Network ladies are all talking about various facets of reading and learning today on their blogs! Go check them out on our pinterest page!

reading one of my favorite childrens books to 2 month old Anslee

This is my 2nd year to have a child in school full time, and I am continuing to learn so much about what the best ways are to support my children in their learning. I am excited to come alongside my girls as much as I can as they learn. I like to think that I will always be their first teacher, and so even though I am not homeschooling, I want to be actively teaching them as best as I can.

One way I really try to make helping with homework after school a positive experience is to find out how the teacher teaches, and use the lingo and language that she uses in the classroom. It was a real game changer for the ease at which homework time went over.

I had a parent/teacher conference with Anslee's kindergarten teacher and as conversation happened, she clued me into certain phrases she would use when teaching the kids how to read. Specifically, I would have trouble explaining to Anslee how sometimes some letters make a different sound in some words than what they "sound out" to say. Her teacher told me that she said some words were "naughty, because they simply didn't follow the rules". This may have been something I should have known myself, but I didn't, and being able to r
epeat this back to her at home helps her to see the word for what it is, memorize it, and move right on - because sometimes this is just how the English language works.

During that same parent/teacher conference I picked up on some phrases she used during math lessons. It was a way she reminded the kids of the instructions without having actually give them the instructions all over again. I use that this year as well. I also would really pay attention to completed work that came home. I would see how things were done and talk with Anslee about how she came to her answers. I needed to do this because the methods that they use are different than the ones we used, so its been different - and I want to make sure she is following the methods being taught in the classroom.

This year, Anslee has been able to communicate to me herself what they are doing and how they go about their day. I can see how her teacher teaches blending consonants and I watch how Anslee uses symbols to help her make sense of it all. When I have a conference with her teacher this year, I plan to ask her about some of her usual phrases or fun tricks/sayings/rhymes she uses with the kids during the day. (Her teachers have both been the next closest thing to angels that a human can be. We are blessed beyond measure here).

On the first day of kindergarten, and again, on the first day of 1st grade Anslee came home with a print out very similar to this one:

photo credit: free download from www.pennykittle.net under research

Seeing the difference in this perspective was eye opening to me, and I love that the information can be presented to parents in this way. I always knew reading to your child was important and clearly beneficial, but to see it laid out like helped me to know the depth of its value.

I feel overly blessed to be able to partner with amazing teachers and administration in helping my daughter grow academically. I feel like we all are setting her up for success, and that is just a gift that a price tag could not be set on. 

A Weekly Check-In with your Husband {Guest Post: A BFBN post}

 The Babywise Friendly Blog Network ladies are all guest posting on each others blogs this week!

Today I have the honor of having Stephanie from Giving It Grace speaking on the importance of having intentional time set aside with your husband each week. This is time used to dig deeper and move past the mundane everyday conversation and interaction that busy married couples can easily fall into. She talks about how it is especially helpful with small children running around to re-group with your spouse each week.

photo credit: Clane Glessel from www.clanegessle.com 

My husband and I started doing a weekly check-in each Sunday shortly after we got married. I'm all about intentionality and this seemed like a great way to ensure he and I were having purposeful conversations on the regular. After a while of doing the weekly check-ins they became less like an interview and more just a framework for a conversation we have about how our week went and what our upcoming week looks like. 

Doing a weekly check-in with your spouse is a great way to get past the "How was your day? Good" conversation. We've also found a weekly check-in is especially helpful if you have tiny humans in your house dominating the topic your conversations. Having this chat every Sunday encourages my husband and I to push pause and just spend some time face to face before we start a new week. 

Here are the questions we ask and answer to each other each Sunday evening:

• What is your high and low from past week?
• I really try to listen to his answer on this question, as often things going on at his job are either his high or his low. I find it worth noting if he's stressed at work so that I can be mindful of that when he's at home.
• How did you feel loved this past week?
• I love this question. I am easily susceptible to putting standards on myself as a wife that mean nothing to my husband. I've learned over the years that my husband does not feel loved by a fancy Pinterest dinner or the fact that I make the bed every morning (which apparently I just do for me as he could care less). He almost always answers this question by saying he feels loved by how well I take care of our kids. As taking care of the kids often takes up my entire day, it's such a relief to know that really the only thing I can offer him right is the very thing that makes him feel loved during this season in our lives.
• Anything I need to be called to repent of?
• I also love this question, as it prevents me from being a nit-picky wife (most of the time!). If Kyle does something during the week that rubs me the wrong way I make note of it to talk about at the weekly check-in. If it's still bothering me on Sunday night, I tell him about it. If I forget come Sunday, clearly it wasn't worth mentioning in the first place. Obviously if it's something huge we address it in the moment, but most of the time it can wait. I also like this question because Kyle knows it's coming and his heart is in a good place to receive whatever I have to say. And vice versa; when Kyle has things he wants to bring to my attention I'm expecting it and am willing to listen to him more so during this time than I would be in the heat of the moment. 
• How would you best feel pursued this week?
• Some might find this question weird because it's aimed at our sex life, but in this season of our lives (having little kids) we find it's imperative to talk openly and often about the most sacred part of our marriage: our intimacy.
• What does your upcoming week look like?
• Walking through the upcoming week on the calendar together helps prevent scheduling oopsies. It also helps set expectations so we both know what's going on and there's no "you never told me about that" or "I didn't realize you'd be home so late", etc.
• How can I support you logistically this week?
• This question is probably unnecessary to most but we find it's useful to be extra clear about what would be helpful to each of us so that we aren't making assumptions.
• How can I pray for you this week?
• Another question I really try to listen to his answer on - and then actually pray for what he asks for. As his friend, I really like to know what's weighing on his heart or what he is rejoicing over and coming alongside him for either. 

Check in with all the ladies at:

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom

Journey of Parenthood

Giving It Grace (I am guest posting here this week)

Wiley Adventures

Team Cartwright

Faithfully Infertile

Wynn is 16 months, and why its more than just another month.

This post and all the emotion surrounding its content has been swirling around in my head since May 28, 2014 - the day she was born. She is 16 months old now. She is walking (well, when she chooses) and has 12 teeth, and talks/jabbers non-stop. She plays with her sisters happily everyday. She still takes two solid naps. She is smart. So smart. Understands so much. Mostly, she is happy. She has been a dream baby, and is easing her way nicely into toddlerhood. We love her with ever fiber of our being. But really, this post isn't at all about what she is up to now, or milestones or anything. Her turning 16 months old is hard different for me.

I have never had a 16 month old in my home without also growing a new baby growing inside of me at the same time.

When Anslee turned 16 months old, I had just come to know that Kensington was on the way. She was no bigger than a jelly bean, but I knew she was coming! When I learned of this one's impending arrival, I was scared to death because I could not imagine it being possible to love another the way I loved her. (If only I could tell my "mom of 1" self what I know now to be fully possible, and that for me, love deepens with each child) Little did I know, that from this point on, until I was done having children, would be longest time I would ever go between pregnancies!

Anslee, 22 months old. 1 month later Kensington joined our family

Anslee 25 months old, and Kensington 1 month

When Kensington turned 16 months old I was putting off moving her into Anslee's bedroom so that we could prepare the nursery for our 3rd daughter who would be arriving 2.5 months later. She had a name, Laynee Blair, but not a bedroom. This time I had no fear of not being able to love her the way I loved her sisters. In fact, what I knew was that this baby would make me love my other two even more. We didn't plan for her, but we are so thankful to God that he knew better. When Kensington was a little over 18 months old, we welcomed Laynee to our family.

Announcing our pregnancy with Laynee. Anslee had just turned 3, Kensington had just turned 1.

Laynee's newborn pictures. She was 3 weeks old, Asnlee was 3.5 years and Kensington was not quite 19 months old yet.

When Laynee was 16 months old I was battling the flu. It was awful and I found myself in the emergency room because I couldn't sleep because I felt like I was having trouble breathing, and I was worried about the 16 week old tiny baby I was carrying at the time. I needed reassurance that my having the flu was not harming her/him in any way. We had sent the 3 big girls to their grandparents house because Tyler caught the flu from me, and neither one of us were able to take care of small children.  Two days later we celebrated the last Christmas we would have as just a family of 5. One month later, we learned another sister would join the tribe.

We found out our baby would be a GIRL! Anslee 5, Kensington 3, Laynee 17 months

The last picture I took of these 3 before Wynn was born. She came to us less than a week later.
Anslee was almost 5.5, Kensington almost 3.5, Laynee just turned 22 months

One of their first pictures together as a sister set of 4. Wynn was maybe 2 weeks old here.

Now Wynn is 16 months, and it feels like the end of a really great story. Instead of dreaming up a nursery or scheduling prenatal doctor office visits, I am making sure Anslee is prepared each Friday for her spelling test. Tyler and I are both working hard with Kensington to make sure she is prepared to be a big school girl next year. We are being stretched and humbled in how we need to discipline Laynee. Tyler leaves for 9 days each month to go secure our state national border.  I am coordinating a Mop's group and going to PTO meetings. Our family is happily moving into the next season of life, and so far, it is sweet. Our life is full.

Here she is, 16 months old. No news to share - my only girl who will never be a big sister.

I know I will re-visit these feelings many more times down the road. Like when we celebrate Wynn's 2nd birthday and their isn't a newborn there to celebrate with us. That has never happened here! It will be so nice to actually potty train Wynn without also having to coordinate an infants sleep schedule in the mix of it. The diaper bag will almost be useless.  I better get used to it. For the rest of our life, our family's seasons will shift and I will need to learn to savor the moment we are in, and move confidently forward to what will be. One day we will send Wynn off to college, and I will be left at home - hopefully still knowing I have purpose and gifts to share and use.

This is really the first of all the many season changes that will occur during my period of time where I am parenting.  Just the first small taste of it all, and it has already made me understand more clearly that the time really does go by quickly.  I am still so early in game, with so much more experience to gain in the future.

My hope is to really be able to treasure the sweet times during years, and not to feel bad about forgetting the not-so-fun times that are sure to come in each new chapter of our family's story.

The final four Fall 2015

Benefits of establishing a structure in your home before you bring home a new sibling for your child { a BFBN post}

The Babywise Friendly Blog Network ladies are all posting today on various topics involving siblings.  My focus is going to be on how having a routine for your older child(ren) will be helpful to the whole family when you bring a newborn sibling into the home.

Benefits for the older siblings:

Having a routine (and by this I mean having meal, nap, bedtime, and wake up time set at a consistent time each day) allows for the older child(ren) in the home to be secure in their day. They know they will be fed, and it is less likely that meltdowns will happen out of sheer exhaustion. Nap time is coming, and their bodies are well adjusted to that. A child who is secure in the boundaries of their day is a child who will be well adjusted to other changes that may be thrown at them. For example: bring home their newborn sibling. Their day stays the same. The baby will be there when the older sibling is interested to show attention, but its nothing that is going to totally change their day to day activities.
They will still know what to expect. They will still have the security of their routine, and the new baby will not be a cause for any major change that might make them feel uncertain and confused about their world. While caring for a newborn may shake up mom's and dad's world for a while, the other children in the house will carry on without a care in the world as they always have. We have been so thankful that the 3 times I have brought home a newborn to an older child - we have had no behavioral problems arise, no re-training or re-learning of house rules, and no aggression/jealousy/unease about the baby. Who would want to deal with all of that when you have a newborn? The transition with the new baby can be smooth, and a lot of that is a result from having a steady structure already established in your home.

Benefits for the new sibling
When a newborn is brought into the world there is a lot they must learn. They are learning to nurse. They are learning that they are no longer in the womb. They are learning who mommy is. All of these things are easier to learn if they are born into a home that already has stability and structure. Everyone is calm and understands what needs to happen, so helping a newborn to figure out their new world is much easier to do.
They will also naturally fall into a nice routine. If mom is helping to keep older siblings work within the bounds of their day, the baby will also wake and lull into a routine in which they feel comfortable. If the older kiddos always wake at a certain time and mom has to be up with them, baby should wake too and begin their day. Immediately they are starting to understand routine because they have began on one. New babies are difficult because they need so much care and attention, and it is helpful for them to be welcomed in a world that makes sense early on.

Benefits for parents
If older children are not acting out in any way due to bringing home a new baby then parents have one less "thing" to tend to. A newborn baby will always bring enough to tend to, so not having to also help an older child will allow for the transition to be pleasant, and an experience you can really treasure.
If parents have already set a sound day for older kids - they (parents) will also know when they can expect some down time or when the child will want to be fed. They can plan ahead things like trying to get a quick nap themselves or when they can get another to do list item marked off the list. They can know when they can get out and about or a play date or to run errands. They can also be sure that their child will nap. It can be planned that everyone naps at the same time, even. Most importantly, it allows for spouses to know when they can make time for each other - even in the event of a newborn baby being brought home.  It has a made a world of difference to have the peace of mind that everyone in the house is getting what they need out of their day. I can honestly say that having a routine in place is the only reason I have been able to manage 4 children living under my care.

I feel like we all crave structure and boundaries. Everyone wants to live a life that makes sense. It can be so much more than surviving, and with a routine and steady structure you can enjoy each day as it comes.

Go and visit these ladies sites to see what they have to add siblings dynamics

http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com/
http://www.journeyofparenthood.com/
http://teamcartwright.blogspot.com/
http://www.wileyadventures.com/

Safety in the Car {a BFBN post}

The Babywise Friendly Blog network ladies are all talking about different facets of car seat safety today. I am sharing on what the law in Texas requires, sharing my unique experience in this area as being married to a Texas State Trooper, and also showing you how we travel.

As mothers, we may disagree on many parenting topics/philosohies - but I think one thing we all have in common is that we want to do our best to keep our children safe in all areas - and especially when traveling by car. I am especially partial to this because of the unique nature of my husbands job. He is a state trooper in Texas and has an advantage that many of us do not. He sees firsthand both the great benefit and devastating tragedy that can come from using a child safety seat properly or improperly in a vehicle. I feel blessed to be able to have his perspective, as it has guided me in being proactive toward keeping my girls safe while we travel.

When I was preparing to write this post, I asked Tyler for his input. He immediately told me of a tragic event that had a silver lining. In January 2014 Tyler was working a night shift and the dispatch called him out to a crash. It was dark, around 9 pm. When he arrived on the scene, he saw a pick-up truck in the middle of a pasture on its side, driver side down. It was clear the truck had rolled several times before landing in that position. The driver was thrown from the vehicle and unfortunately did not survive. Another passenger, an adult, riding in the front seat was also thrown from the car. Neither of the adults were wearing seat belts at the time of the accident. In the backseat, a 3 year old.

The 3 year old had been properly restrained in her carseat and walked away without a scratch. In the same crash that had a fatal ending to one, another walked away without any injuries. Praise the Lord for this child's safety.

I believe that alone shows the vast difference in safety that a child safety seat in the car can make. A life saving product, and one that has come so far in the past 30 years. The research and technology behind the manufacturing of car seats has really become  so sophisticated, as they have proven to be valuable in the event of a crash like the one I just described.


Car Seat laws may vary from state to state, but this what the State of Texas requires:

Transportation Code section 545.412 "(a)A person commits an offense if the person operates a passenger vehicle, transports a child who is younger than eight years of age, unless the child is taller than four feet, nice inches, and does not keep the child secured during the operation of the vehicle in a child passenger safety seat system according to the instructions of the manufacturer of the safety seat system."

What the rear view is in my minivan

There are no laws against when to turn the child from rear facing to forward facing, but the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly encourages a child be rear facing until at least two years of age. This has to do with the immature development of the spine and neck. In the event of the accident, when rear facing, movement is absorbed into the area of the car seat that surrounds and supports the neck and spine. This is incredibly important for young children who still have an underdeveloped spinal cord. If facing toward the back - when force occurs their bodies will still be moving, but will be moving directly into the car seat that will absorb the movement and force. If facing forward, the child will still be moving forward upon impact, and their tiny bones can't as easily withstand the force, leading to possible life threatening injuries. The AAP recommends age two as a minimum - but also recognize that it is really not until age 3 that children's spinal cord and supporting muscles are fully capable of handling this type of trauma.  I should also note that it is NOT AT ALL dangerous for feet to touch the back of the actual seat of the car while rear facing. Any possible injury from the feet and legs touching the back of the seat are FAR less in detriment than injuries that could occur to the spine, head, and neck if facing forward prematurely - and its highly unlikely that legs being "squished" up against the back of the seat would actually cause any injury whatsoever. It is  really tempting for parents to turn their child around earlier than recommended because in early toddlerhood is common they they begin to get "bored" or "fussy" while riding in the car, and turning them around to have a view seems like it would be more enjoyable for everyone riding in the car. I would suggest that if this becomes a problem, to try having music for them to listen too, or making sure they have a lovey or a pacifier for soothing. They will usually grow out of this stage shortly after it begins. I also recently listened to a lady who was employed by both the Texas Department of Transportation and Scott and White Hospital do a demonstration about car seat safety. She reminded new mom's that toys that are marketed to attach to a car seat are never crash or safety tested, and so its ideal to not use them. No one really knows what damage they could (or would not, for that matter) cause in the event of an accident.

Anslee is 6.5 years old, weighs 44 lbs and is 46 inches tall. She is petite for her age, but is still in a high back booster with a 5 point harness. She fits the height/age/weight requirements and so she stays. She is beginning to ask about regular booster seats (no back and use the car seat belt), so far she is just questioning and we will keep her in a seat like this for quite a while longer.

When it comes to car seat shopping, there are a million options. You do not have to spend thousands of dollars on car seats to be truly safe, and ANYTHING is better than nothing. In our family, we do not buy the cheapest or the most expensive option. We read research and read reviews and trust that not only will the safety seat be a saving grace, but that the Lord will provide protection over our children.

Kensington at 4.5 years old, riding in a high back booster with a 5 point harness. I suspect she will be comfy here for several more years! She is an a Recaro Brand Pro-Ride booster.

Laynee, age 3, in a convertible - forward facing safety seat.  She rides in a Britax Advocate CS car seat that has been passed down from her sister, Kensington. (PS she somehow got an extra comfort cushion and stuffed it behind her head in this picture before I realized and took a picture)

Wynn at 14 (almost 15) months old. She is in an infant carrier here. Chicco Key Fit 30. It is built for up to 30 lbs. (She is 19.9 lbs as of last week) I don't need a "carrier" any longer with her, but she still fits safely in it and is happy. She is still rear facing and loves talking to her sisters during car rides. We will move her to a larger/non-carrier convertible car seat soon, still rear facing. Her feet do touch the back of the seat of the car she is secured in. :)

There are community organizations almost everywhere that will:

1. Provide a family with a free child safety seat that will meet their needs.
2. Train a family member on how to properly install a child safety seat into a vehicle. (Police stations, Fire Stations, Hospitals, and Car seat safety professionals)
3. Will train a family on how to place a child into a child safety seat (Family service centers, police and fire stations) They will show you exactly how much give should be between your child and the safety belt. They will also show you exactly where the chest clip should on the child.

There are several resources available to parents who are actively seeking help in this area.  I have felt so incredibly blessed to be married to a man who will do this for families in our communities that need his help. Please never be hesitant to reach out for help when you need it. So many are willing to partner with you in keeping your children safe while traveling!

Happy and safe travel wishes to you all!

Summer

As another official summer comes to close, I have caught myself wondering if we made the most of our lazy{and busy}days. I don't remember really reflecting on our summer months in years past, so I am thinking this sudden inner interest of mine has to do with the fact that we follow an official school schedule now as my girls are growing. Maybe it is because this will be my last year at home with just one child going to school. Next year, they will be split two at school and two at home. Each year comes with new change, and with new change, new things to prioritize.



We did not go an any epic vacation. We did not take on Disney or a go on a cruise. Heck. We didn't even make it to Sea World or a Zoo. We did not road trip to anywhere. We didn't hop on a plane with bags packed. We didn't count down the days for any great adventure. Oh, but I hope they remember our summer together as if we did. Better yet: I hope that it is never required that we leave to find our fun or adventure.



We learned how to really swim this summer. Two of them ditched the life jackets and puddle jumpers and bravely dove in to the water. Starting out this summer we were scared to go waist deep. Now, we going down slides and jumping off diving boards. I saw confidence grow from not much to so much. I was proud  relieved. Pool side giggles may be what I remember the most from this summer.

We had fun doing new things. We went to art camp. They dabbled into a creative side that I probably could not foster here at home. They learned about mixing colors and painting lines and making something from nothing. They made things beautiful from nothing. It was fun and I am certain they used a different part of their brain that had probably never been tapped into until then. Picasso for the day. I will also keep those sweet canvas paintings of theirs. Maybe I will even get brave and do this one day myself. Maybe with them.



Cheerleading camp. Oh to be loud and excited and part of something bigger than yourself. To learn skills and to be silly in the same setting. To learn from other {way older} children, isn't that more fun sometimes than learning from lame old adults? How much fun did these girls have running and yelling and bouncing? Is it not exactly what they were made to do? The dancing, too. Oh they danced - and to their favorite song: Shake it Off by T-Swift. They were sassy and funny and made new friends. Every girl should wear a cheerleading uniform sometime in their life, and they did!

Reading and Summer Scholars. Keeping their brains sharp and not letting the Texas heat melt away the sharpness to which they can understand. They explored new stories and Anslee read to us. We bought new books and read about them and talked about the characters. We sent our biggest girl to scholar camp to learn about energy and how things work together to just move. They played games and dabbled into robotics programs on computers. She made a race car out of plastic water bottles and straws. They played dress up everyday and pretended to be anyone they wanted to be, and they always laughed while they did this. Some day I will miss having to velcro together those cheaply made, easily tattered, entirely too expensive dress up dresses. We had friends over and played with other children. We practiced sharing, and treating each other with kindness. We took turns and sometimes had to say we were sorry.

We missed daddy on the days when he was away. We watched the tiny sister take her very first steps. We didn't get sick! We all got haircuts. We got our faces painted twice. We got new red, white and blue outfits to wear on the Fourth of July. We went bowling. We went through 3 tubes of sunscreen and have great tan lines. We watched Teen Beach Movie and Teen Beach 2 over and over. We visited grandparents. We made tons of trips to the grocery store and got to eat free fruit (Thanks United!).  We visited a hurt friend in the hospital and made new friends who moved into town.

We were busy and happy. We didn't do much, but we did everything. So thankful for beauty that can be seen in the simplicity of our humble little lives.



Tomorrow starts a new year. 1st grade will be a great adventure. So will pre-school, and for our tiny, her last year just at home with mama. May God bless us and remind of us how is working each day.



So long Summer 2015.

BFBN Week: A Yes Day {guest post}

It is BFBN Week, and today Brooke from apffeladay.com is talking about organizing a fun day for your kids filled with the answer "yes". Read what she has to say and consider doing this in your home!

Are you up for a challenge mama? Go an entire day without saying no to your kids. I know you may be laughing just imagining the madness that will ensue, but honestly, yes day will rock your kid's world.

Many times we say no to protect our kids, but a lot of the time we say no because it is more convenient. Completely ignoring all your plans and to do's for the day to play with our kids is no easy task. It also is not realistic to say yes to everything our kids ask...the world will not treat them this way so why would we set them up to believe this?

But what if for just one day, we only said yes. Cookies for breakfast and a food fight during dinner. Not only will you connect with your kids on a whole new level, you will make memories that will undoubtedly last a lifetime. Here is how you set up your yes day!

Schedule Your Yes Day

Keep yes day special. Schedule them maybe once or twice a year to keep them rare and exciting. If you have more than one kid, you can either schedule different yes days for them or have them work together on the same yes day. Watch them negotiate and work as a team to decide requests.

Not only will yes day surprise your kids, I think it will surprise you too. The madness of course is limited by a set of ground rules which should be established before yes day. The rules should be decided together with your kids and should ensure that yes day doesn't get too crazy!

Yes Day Rules

Set a spending limit
Set a driving distance limit
Nothing that is dangerous
Nothing that causes harm or that is mean
Set a bedtime
Brainstorm

Help your kids brainstorm ideas so they are totally prepared for yes day. Make it memorable and fun! Let them think about what they really want to do... prioritizing activities to ensure they do their favorite first. Yes days don't come often so help them make it count.

An entire day with little responsibility for the entire family. A total free for all adventure that will not be forgotten! Your first yes day may have its hiccups, but no worries, there is always next time! Enjoy your yes day and enjoy your kids!

All of the ladies participating in BFBN week are guest posting on each other's blogs, so go check out all of them!