12 Weeks!

12 Whole weeks with our Laynee Blair!

What a wonderful 12 weeks it has for us.

Our family of 5 is doing just fine

(most of the time, at least)

Our angel girl is growing like a weed -

I don't even think of her as a newborn anymore.

She is in full blown infant mode these days.

An exciting milestone was met.

The mother of all milestones - 

until potty training happens,

and I figure I bet tackle that with Kensington first.

(ugh. coming all too soon - but I digress.)

12 hour nights. I mean sleeping 12 beautiful hours.

For 6 nights in a row little girl has not made a peep.

She doesn't go all night without eating,

I dreamfeed her at  10 or 10:30 each evening,

but she has never awakened during this feed. Sleeps straight through

and eats like a champ. Its actually her best feed-

which might present itself a problem in the near future.

For now, we go with it.

She also wakes up HAPPY. My favorite.

To walk into her room to cooing instead of crying.

She is also starting to bat at toys. I still question if its fully intentional -

but I feel like if its not, it will be soon.

She smiles at me almost the entire time we have together 

in between her naps. Little laughs come through, too. 

Sweet sounds that I hope I never forget.

She has found her cute hands. She inspects them,

brings them to her mouth a lot,

and brings them together a lot now. 

On a side note: isn't clipping a baby's fingernails terrifying?

I really hate doing it. Thankfully -

no mishaps yet.

She is supposed to take 4 naps a day.

Easy schedule: 3 naps 2-2.5 hours

and a 4th catnap, for about 45 minutes (one solid sleep cycle)

The first two naps of the day happen with ease. No crying, and 

right at 45 minutes of being awake.

The 3rd nap usually takes a lot of work on my part

and sometimes the 4th nap doesn't even happen

(don't worry, I haven't lost hope and you know Im not going to give up)

She likes tummy time a little bit more now.

I did let her sit in the swing and play under a baby gym since

my last post about her. She is more able now

to handle stimulation.

So remember one time when I mentioned I thought she might be 

mildly colic?

Ludicrous.

She is no where near colic, and apparently, 

I blog off emotion sometimes.

It had been an off day - and Ive really never thought 

that way again.

In all reality, she is a textbook baby

and with a little lovin' and tranin' she is an angel.

I am adjusting to life slowly - but surely.

During the week, I manage, and enjoy my days with the 3 girls.

If Tyler is scheduled to work during the week - he works during the day.

If he is scheduled to work on the weekends, its a night shift.

(He is only off 1 weekend per month, though)

Those are my toughest times. I can't always count on Laynee

to fall into line easily with her nap at this time

and she requires quite a bit of attention.

The big girls also have a routine we need to get done with - 

so I am VERY busy during this time,

and have broken down a time or two (or 3)

I won't lie when I say I live for Tyler's days off - 

because he is fully engaged and takes on the same 

amount of parenting that I do when he is home.

Yes, I know. He is pretty perfect,

and,

No. You can't have him.

I am going to spend the next month working with an expert sleep trainer.

She is going to help me perfect the skills I already put into practice daily.

My goal in working with her is that I become more confident about reading  my kids cues.

Anslee and Laynee are quieter by nature,

so picking up on their cues is a little tougher for me.

Trust me. Kensington could make a deaf person aware of her needing a nap.

Laynee goes to the doctor for a well check

(yep- we are a month late on that.

*please see having 3 kids under 3* to reference 

why this happens)

I am excited to see her stats.

Can't believe we have had the pleasure of having Laynee for 12 weeks.
We really are waving goodbye to her newborn days!

Here is a photo of all 3 of the girls at roughly 12 weeks old.

(Anslee, Kensington, then Laynee)

Guilt if you don't, Guilt if you do.

Nursing a baby is an incredible journey.

Its not an event.

Its a process, one that has to be learned.

It looks different with each baby.

Its the most natural thing in the world,

and

the most unnatural thing in the world at the same time.

It is one of my most favorite things to do as a mother.

I mean, I think its as close as we can get

to having superhero powers. Ya know?

Seriously, you nurse and grow another human.

I mean wow.

Here is the truth though.

Major cases of guilt can stem from breastfeeding.

Or this is the truth for me.

Whether I am doing it or not, guilt is the result.

As I have shared before on this blog - my 3rd baby,

sweet Laynee Blair,

is not a great nurser.

She was born little. With a very weak suck. Very sleepy.

 She is a little bit lazy when it comes to eating.

It took extra long for my milk to come with her, because sweet girl

would half suck for like 7 seconds before falling into a 

coma-like sleep state.

I tried every trick in the book to get that girl to stay awake long enough

for a full feed. She finally did it,

but those early days were exhausting.

With Kensington my supply waned a bit, when she started sleeping though the night.

It was harder with her than with Anslee to keep up how much she needed.

So I worried this would happen again with Laynee.

I also just hated that really the only time she was fussy,

was when we were nursing.

Then we talked with the pediatrician about her growth and such, who strongly advised supplementing

and of course it was all downhill from there.

She did alright with nursing and taking a bottle,

but clearly preferred the easy way to feed - 

the bottle.

Part of me felt relief.

I knew her belly was full. She was perfectly content.

Part of me felt anxious.

All of my plans with this baby revolved around nursing.

It was what we were going to do. There was no other option.

No one can argue that breastmilk is healthiest thing you can give your baby.

Formula labels tell you just that.

I loved nursing her. It was never a hassle for me. 

I had all the appropriate gear and gadgets.

I visited with a super knowledgeable, reputable certified

Lactation consultant.

I took fenugreek, blessed thistle, and brewers yeast in pill form.

I power pumped once a day. I pumped at least 3 other times per day.

I even ordered domperidone from whoknowswhere.com.

I fed on demand.

I never really stressed out about it -

but knew it was not going very well.

So, after 10.5 weeks of nursing Laynee - the very best I could,

we have made the decision to call it quits.

I feel so guilty. I feel selfish sometimes.

I feel like I need to tell everyone who ever sees me give my baby 

a bottle why it didnt work for us. Maybe they will be understanding?

I even feel compelled to dedicate an entire blog post to it.

You know what else though?

I felt guilty breastfeeding. Almost as guilty as I feel not breastfeeding.

Every three hours this is what would happen:

1. we nurse: 20 minutes.

2. we supplement: 15 minutes

3. I pump 15 more minutes.

You know what was not happening? Me being able to supervise my very busy

preschooler and toddler.

I was not able to supervise, so I was clearly not able to be engaged

with them either.

Having more than 1 child puts a whole new spin

on how your nursing experience plays out.

I am thankful that formula is a nutritious option for me and other moms 

who need it to have.

You won't ever hear me say its a better option, because its not,

but she will be just fine taking a bottle.

It was a hard decision to make, seeing as how I did everything I could 

to go in the opposite direction.

When I go to a playdate and see my fellow moms nurse their babies,

I will probably ask myself why I couldnt make it work,

and what I could have done better.

But - at this time I at least feel like I am doing what is best

for every person in this family - not just me and Laynee.

so here we go. bottles up, everyone.

A giveaway I want to win.

The babywise mom is doing a great giveaway.

Its a consultation package worth $85.00

with Natalie, who runs

www.mybabysleeptrainer.com

This would be a great giveaway for me right now.

Laynee's sleeping is not horrible,

but I know she can do longer stretches now.

I think that if I can just talk to an "expert"

and get some questions answered

maybe a little bit of troubleshooting

we can have a 12 hour sleeper in no time.

So this blog post counts as my entry!

Check out www.mybabysleeptrainer.com

to see what she is all about :)

Newborn Sum it up.

Yesterday (Tuesday) our Laynee turned 8 weeks old! I  can't believe she is already 8 weeks old - and just a few days away from being 2 months old already. It feels like she just got here, and like we have had her forever all at the same time. None the less, she was the final piece to our little family puzzle and we are thankful each day for her and her two big sisters.
Since there is no way I could ever do a weekly post on her progress - I thought I would just do a big sum up of the time we have had with her, as her newborn days are just about to come to a close. On to infanthood we tread!

Sleep:
Oh sleep. On a typical, normal, good day Laynee takes 4 naps, all between 2 and 2.5 hours. She is very capable of putting herself to sleep, thankfully, without much soothing needed. A swaddle is  pretty much a must have at each nap.

night time sleep: Oh I wish I had a better report. Though mommy is working overtime to get some good stretches of night time sleep in, the most she has gone was right under 5 hours. She still feeds twice each night. Almost always at 1:30 and again at 4:30. Then I usually wake her to start our day between 7:30 - 8 am (depending on where I am with the big girls by that time) We were doing "bedtime" routine with her around 10 pm - then realized thats silly. 10 pm wont be her bedtime until she is like 14 years old. So we do it shortly after the big girls (so around 7:30). Of course, no matter what time she was put to bed, she wakes at 1:30 am. Whether bedtime was at 10 or 7:30. We clearly opted for 7:30. We have tried cluster feeding in the early afternoon/evening and doing a dreamfeed - neither gave us any different results or any more sleep - so we are still working on this. sigh.

- carseat napping. Grrrr. I wish I could report that she easily sleeps/goes to sleep in her carseat. She does not. She will sleep in it - if at "nap time" she is put in her carseat and left to fall asleep before we actually go anywhere. So - if I know we are needing to go somewhere before she needs her next nap, I just put her in the carseat at least 30 minutes before we have to go anywhere. It takes her longer to fall asleep in the carseat than just at home, so I account for that in her wake time. For instance, if she usually can be up for 50 minutes - and fall to sleep at home just fine with that length of wake time, I put her in the carseat at 30 minutes of wake time (usually as soon as we are done feeding) and let her have wind down wake time in the carseat. There have been several times where she never did fall asleep before we needed to leave, and I of course was annoyed - but alas, the lives of the two big girls must NOT come to a halt. So we go with it.

- Right now, she does good with about 50 minutes of wake time including feedings. Usually at 45 minutes I do diaper change and swaddle. She sometimes will go 60 minutes.

-Cry It Out. (CIO) One day, when she was around 4-5 weeks old, she cried it out unintentionally. I had the big girls in the bath tub and could not leave them. By the time I got them out and dressed, she had cried it out - and put herself to sleep. I still dont let her CIO on a regular basis, but I don't run quickly to her side when I hear her crying. She has cried a little and put herself to sleep several times, and so when we are ready to give it a full go - I think she will be great, and I don't think it will a whole lot of time for her to learn to self soothe. She has done this already several times. 

- Pacifier: She prefers the ugliest pacifier on the market, of course. The soothie. I am so happy to report, though, that she really only takes it if she is overtired (which of course we try to avoid at all costs) or if she is extra fussy.  Any other time she does not really care for it, or need it.

Wake Time:

There is not a whole lot of awake time right now that we are not feeding. So as far as activities go - I really try to keep it at a minimum. I don't want to overstimulate her, and that is what baby toys are really good for. So, I try to keep her environment calm and low key.

-tummy time: we do a little bit of tummy time each day. She really hates it. She has gained a little more neck control over the last few weeks though, so thats good. I don't make her do it for too long, since she really does not enjoy it very much.

- bouncy chair: She does, from time to time have to sit in her little bouncy/vibrating chair. She likes it. She does not fuss while in it - but I am still limiting her time there. We have not tried the swing yet. We might make that our next big adventure.

- blanket time: We do this at least once a day. I usually take 9872394 pictures during this time of her. Since she spends a lot of time swaddled up, I do little exercises with her during this time. I did this a lot with the other two girls too, even though neither one of them enjoyed the swaddle like Laynee does. This has been especially fun over the last 2 weeks, as she has found part of her voice and is making all kinds of new sounds.

Sister time: She has two sisters who thing she is the bee's knees. They take turns holding her, enjoy spending some time each day with her. They kiss and hug her, and are both very gentle with her without having to be reminded to "play soft" that often.

Smiling: She started smiling last week! This is by far my favorite first. It makes me feel like she is now attached in a deeper way to me, Tyler, and the bigs. It was easy for us to feel that connection, but its incredible to see a social smile and know it was in response to you being there, communicating, playing, interacting with them.

I am protective of wake time. I really try to be careful that we expose her slowly to new things. There is always time to show her new toys, and soon the days will be filled with new things to stimulate her all day long. For now, I am letting her be a baby, and helping her to sleep by watching what we do during the time she is awake.

Knowing how, when, and where to sleep is a discipline that I feel is my responsibility to teach my kids. Its so vital to there development, and I want to know that I am doing what I can to successfully teach them how to sleep, but also, to enjoy it! They will miss all these naps someday. I do!

Feeding:

Nursing: oh this has been a struggle. I feared it would be from the 2nd trimester on with her. I knew she was going most likely be born a tad early, so I knew it was a strong possibility that this could be a challenge. I was on. Call it the self-fulfilling prophecy, or what have you, but we are struggling. I nurse her on each side for each feeding probably for a combined total of 15 minutes. She really is at her fussiest when nursing. She does not like it very much, and never has. I keep telling myself that this will get easier, and we have our good days, but overall its still a constant struggle.

Supplementing: I was instructed by our pediatrician when she was 3 weeks old that it would be wise to supplement. She was gaining weight very slowly, though she was gaining, had some jaundice issues, and having a difficult time making diapers - her wet ones were very dark in color, and she just was not having any dirty ones. So, we give her some soy based formula (similac isomil) in a bottle with each feeding. This is not ideal, but, we felt it was the best thing to do, so we are accepting it. Since we started supplementing weight was put on, her urine is no longer dark, and now dirty diapers happen 1 time each day - sometimes every other day.

She spends probably 25-30 minutes eating (nursing and bottle) and has 7 feedings every 24 hours. She of course, loves a bottle. Who wouldn't, there is no work to it.

I am doing my very best to continue nursing, I know its best for her. Even if I stop nursing totally, I will pump for as long as I can so that she still gets my milk. It is just unrealistic for me to nurse for 15 minutes, give a bottle for an additional 10 minutes or so, then immediately pump for 20 minutes each time we feed. I have two other kids that need attention, and I would literally only 1.5 hours before I had to do the whole thing over again.

Colic:

So I kind of use the rule of 3 to determine if colic is real or just in my head. Onset of 3 weeks old, at least 3 days a week of 3 hours a day of unknown crying/fussiness.

I would say we have a very mild version of this. Laynee will do this every couple of days or so. She will resfuse a nap, and nothing will console her. Though - sometimes a pacifier will help, or simply being held will help. It happens probably every several days. We will have 3 or 4 really good days, where naps are right on cue, she feeds well, and does not spend much time fussing or crying. Then we have days like today, for instance, where she has literally been awake since 3:15 pm and its almost 7. I know. Its crazy to me - as we did our usual routine of swaddling and diapering after her feeding/waketime period at 45 minutes. No - we were not out and about, overstimulating, doing anything fun. Nope, we just were at home doing things as normal, but she just refused and has been crying off and an the entire time.

I am not complaining, in fact I am thanking my lucky stars that its not a worse case. Our good days are super. She is very predictable, and easy to read. Our rough days are rough, but not so tough that I am super stressed about it. Most days, we can console her, and get in all the naps. Just not today.

Sisters Adjustment:

The big sisters are loving every minute of having sweet Laynee. They love when they get to hold her and kiss on her. While she sleeps, they talk about her and ask about her. They each hold her at least once per day. Sometimes more.

Cold:

Of course, she has already, in short little life, already caught a cold from Kensington. It caused a rough night of sleep, and some really pitiful sounding sniffles. I think she is past it though.

Gowth Spurts/Wonder week:

Laynee has for sure had the first two of many, many, many growth spurts that are coming during this first year. I am excited to go to the doctor to see how much she has "officially" grown. Her growth spurts come with the classic signs - a few days of eating a ton, sleeping like a little champ, followed by days of fussiness, no appetite, and interrupted sleep.

She has also made it through Wonder Week 5 (Changing Sensations). She did this right around week 5 actually. It was soon after days of being extra clingy, and crying a lot that I noticed real tears streaming down her face. This is a sign that the first WW has passed on, then a couple of weeks later she smiled. That is another sign.

I think we might be in the middle of WW8 (Patterns). We will soon know for sure.

Its always something the first year. If its not a Wonder Week or Growth Spurt, Its teething, or time to adjust the nap schedule. Its the hardest time, in my opinion...and in my experience (which happens to be a whole 3.75 years. Quite the expert here.)

She has not lost any hair yet - but I am anticipating that by month 4 She will have lost some. Kensington and Anslee both lost quite a bit of hair - though Kensington was born with more and so her hair loss was not nearly as noticeable.


We are still getting to know our girl, and having fun while doing so. Even on the hard days, I am a bit calmer than I ever was with the other two. I think I really understand this time around that I am not ever going to "break" her if we have an off day - and that she will bounce back. This year is just a year of tweaking and surviving each phase. It is just a phase - even the good blocks of time - they will back right up against a rough patch. Its ok, and no one will die because of it!

Just a Few Thoughts.

I told Tyler I wanted to maybe think about the idea

of me looking for a job here in Brownwood.

He rolled his eyes,

said,

"yeah right."

and then laughed.
that was all - his only response.
He then carried on as if I had never had the
thought at all.

I just love when people say,

"Oh, if you breastfeed, you will lose that baby weight in no time."

Boo.

You retain water and your body stores extra fat for your baby.

So burning calories is canceled out.

That is my experience

*not scientifically sound information*

I have 1 less arm than I do children.

This does not serve me well.

This is the status of my laundry:

1 basket ready to be washed.

One in the washer.

One in the dryer.

One being folded.

Pile on the bathroom floor.

The iphone 5 will change my life.

If not, I hold Apple responsible.

Oh I am looking forward to fall TV.

What is up with Biggest Loser not starting until January?

NBC:

This paired with your poor coverage of the Olympics this summer

holds you second to ABC in our home.

Second because we love The Voice right now.

Dunkin' Donuts Coffee

really, truly, is as good as the 

commercial says it is.

 I can't get enough  - 

try it.

I need a vacation.

Until then, my outlet will be 

this very blog.

Read at your own discretion.

Concrete and a garden hose

Laynee sleeps a lot y'all. And I am not complaining. She can handle about 50 minutes of wake time right now before becoming overtired.

The two big girls think all the sleep is for the birds. So we have to get creative when it comes to fun at home.

We have had some fun in the front yard- and thankfully Ans and Kens are not too high maintenance and have big imaginations.

You would not believe how much fun a slab of concrete (in the version of our driveway and the of foundation for the beginning of the house being built next door) and a garden hose (turned off) can be.





It was a tight rope.




It was a gas pump for a while.




Then a seatbelt for safety's sake.




It was a heavy load.




We had very own dance recital.





Dancing some more...





Who would have thought that concrete and a garden hose could wear these two out before making it back inside?!



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Is giving my best good enough?

Since sweet Laynee will likely be our last babe

I find myself staring at her a little closer.

Part of me needs to hold her longer 

because I will never have a 5 week and 3 day old again.

With that being said - 

We have run out of our "new baby adrenaline"

as I like to call it.

We are starting to run on fumes around here 

which timed out well with her having a really past 24 hours.

I feel like I am frantically thumbing through the files

in my newborn directory of info.

Guess I am missing a few!

I was holding my breath to get to 6 weeks - 

as 6 weeks seems to be a big time for a baby.

Usually the 6th week marks a big growth spurt.

She for sure has already had a growth spurt - 

around 3 weeks, which is typical too,

but this one is a doosey.

She has now for the first time:

woke every hour in the night after 1 am.

woke early from each nap during the day.

stayed awake twice now from feeding to feeding.

had trouble putting herself to sleep

the past few days has given me a little teaser

of what Kens' newborn days were like

(yikes!)

Since I have done this 3 times, I am doing my very best

to remember I will never get this time back.

that it will end.

I am not starting bad habits.

she isn't broken.

she will not be 2 years old and

waking to be fed.

Tyler and I will sleep again.

*I AM DOING MY BEST*

So here I am trying to decide between:

wonder week

growth spurt

low milk supply

could it be a mild form of colic?

Ughhhh

why can't she just send me a quick text to tell me 

what to expect and how to help her through?

That would be nice.