12 Weeks!

12 Whole weeks with our Laynee Blair!

What a wonderful 12 weeks it has for us.

Our family of 5 is doing just fine

(most of the time, at least)

Our angel girl is growing like a weed -

I don't even think of her as a newborn anymore.

She is in full blown infant mode these days.

An exciting milestone was met.

The mother of all milestones - 

until potty training happens,

and I figure I bet tackle that with Kensington first.

(ugh. coming all too soon - but I digress.)

12 hour nights. I mean sleeping 12 beautiful hours.

For 6 nights in a row little girl has not made a peep.

She doesn't go all night without eating,

I dreamfeed her at  10 or 10:30 each evening,

but she has never awakened during this feed. Sleeps straight through

and eats like a champ. Its actually her best feed-

which might present itself a problem in the near future.

For now, we go with it.

She also wakes up HAPPY. My favorite.

To walk into her room to cooing instead of crying.

She is also starting to bat at toys. I still question if its fully intentional -

but I feel like if its not, it will be soon.

She smiles at me almost the entire time we have together 

in between her naps. Little laughs come through, too. 

Sweet sounds that I hope I never forget.

She has found her cute hands. She inspects them,

brings them to her mouth a lot,

and brings them together a lot now. 

On a side note: isn't clipping a baby's fingernails terrifying?

I really hate doing it. Thankfully -

no mishaps yet.

She is supposed to take 4 naps a day.

Easy schedule: 3 naps 2-2.5 hours

and a 4th catnap, for about 45 minutes (one solid sleep cycle)

The first two naps of the day happen with ease. No crying, and 

right at 45 minutes of being awake.

The 3rd nap usually takes a lot of work on my part

and sometimes the 4th nap doesn't even happen

(don't worry, I haven't lost hope and you know Im not going to give up)

She likes tummy time a little bit more now.

I did let her sit in the swing and play under a baby gym since

my last post about her. She is more able now

to handle stimulation.

So remember one time when I mentioned I thought she might be 

mildly colic?

Ludicrous.

She is no where near colic, and apparently, 

I blog off emotion sometimes.

It had been an off day - and Ive really never thought 

that way again.

In all reality, she is a textbook baby

and with a little lovin' and tranin' she is an angel.

I am adjusting to life slowly - but surely.

During the week, I manage, and enjoy my days with the 3 girls.

If Tyler is scheduled to work during the week - he works during the day.

If he is scheduled to work on the weekends, its a night shift.

(He is only off 1 weekend per month, though)

Those are my toughest times. I can't always count on Laynee

to fall into line easily with her nap at this time

and she requires quite a bit of attention.

The big girls also have a routine we need to get done with - 

so I am VERY busy during this time,

and have broken down a time or two (or 3)

I won't lie when I say I live for Tyler's days off - 

because he is fully engaged and takes on the same 

amount of parenting that I do when he is home.

Yes, I know. He is pretty perfect,

and,

No. You can't have him.

I am going to spend the next month working with an expert sleep trainer.

She is going to help me perfect the skills I already put into practice daily.

My goal in working with her is that I become more confident about reading  my kids cues.

Anslee and Laynee are quieter by nature,

so picking up on their cues is a little tougher for me.

Trust me. Kensington could make a deaf person aware of her needing a nap.

Laynee goes to the doctor for a well check

(yep- we are a month late on that.

*please see having 3 kids under 3* to reference 

why this happens)

I am excited to see her stats.

Can't believe we have had the pleasure of having Laynee for 12 weeks.
We really are waving goodbye to her newborn days!

Here is a photo of all 3 of the girls at roughly 12 weeks old.

(Anslee, Kensington, then Laynee)

Guilt if you don't, Guilt if you do.

Nursing a baby is an incredible journey.

Its not an event.

Its a process, one that has to be learned.

It looks different with each baby.

Its the most natural thing in the world,

and

the most unnatural thing in the world at the same time.

It is one of my most favorite things to do as a mother.

I mean, I think its as close as we can get

to having superhero powers. Ya know?

Seriously, you nurse and grow another human.

I mean wow.

Here is the truth though.

Major cases of guilt can stem from breastfeeding.

Or this is the truth for me.

Whether I am doing it or not, guilt is the result.

As I have shared before on this blog - my 3rd baby,

sweet Laynee Blair,

is not a great nurser.

She was born little. With a very weak suck. Very sleepy.

 She is a little bit lazy when it comes to eating.

It took extra long for my milk to come with her, because sweet girl

would half suck for like 7 seconds before falling into a 

coma-like sleep state.

I tried every trick in the book to get that girl to stay awake long enough

for a full feed. She finally did it,

but those early days were exhausting.

With Kensington my supply waned a bit, when she started sleeping though the night.

It was harder with her than with Anslee to keep up how much she needed.

So I worried this would happen again with Laynee.

I also just hated that really the only time she was fussy,

was when we were nursing.

Then we talked with the pediatrician about her growth and such, who strongly advised supplementing

and of course it was all downhill from there.

She did alright with nursing and taking a bottle,

but clearly preferred the easy way to feed - 

the bottle.

Part of me felt relief.

I knew her belly was full. She was perfectly content.

Part of me felt anxious.

All of my plans with this baby revolved around nursing.

It was what we were going to do. There was no other option.

No one can argue that breastmilk is healthiest thing you can give your baby.

Formula labels tell you just that.

I loved nursing her. It was never a hassle for me. 

I had all the appropriate gear and gadgets.

I visited with a super knowledgeable, reputable certified

Lactation consultant.

I took fenugreek, blessed thistle, and brewers yeast in pill form.

I power pumped once a day. I pumped at least 3 other times per day.

I even ordered domperidone from whoknowswhere.com.

I fed on demand.

I never really stressed out about it -

but knew it was not going very well.

So, after 10.5 weeks of nursing Laynee - the very best I could,

we have made the decision to call it quits.

I feel so guilty. I feel selfish sometimes.

I feel like I need to tell everyone who ever sees me give my baby 

a bottle why it didnt work for us. Maybe they will be understanding?

I even feel compelled to dedicate an entire blog post to it.

You know what else though?

I felt guilty breastfeeding. Almost as guilty as I feel not breastfeeding.

Every three hours this is what would happen:

1. we nurse: 20 minutes.

2. we supplement: 15 minutes

3. I pump 15 more minutes.

You know what was not happening? Me being able to supervise my very busy

preschooler and toddler.

I was not able to supervise, so I was clearly not able to be engaged

with them either.

Having more than 1 child puts a whole new spin

on how your nursing experience plays out.

I am thankful that formula is a nutritious option for me and other moms 

who need it to have.

You won't ever hear me say its a better option, because its not,

but she will be just fine taking a bottle.

It was a hard decision to make, seeing as how I did everything I could 

to go in the opposite direction.

When I go to a playdate and see my fellow moms nurse their babies,

I will probably ask myself why I couldnt make it work,

and what I could have done better.

But - at this time I at least feel like I am doing what is best

for every person in this family - not just me and Laynee.

so here we go. bottles up, everyone.

A giveaway I want to win.

The babywise mom is doing a great giveaway.

Its a consultation package worth $85.00

with Natalie, who runs

www.mybabysleeptrainer.com

This would be a great giveaway for me right now.

Laynee's sleeping is not horrible,

but I know she can do longer stretches now.

I think that if I can just talk to an "expert"

and get some questions answered

maybe a little bit of troubleshooting

we can have a 12 hour sleeper in no time.

So this blog post counts as my entry!

Check out www.mybabysleeptrainer.com

to see what she is all about :)