Giving it up.

My blood pressure is rising.

Anxiety is through the roof

At the very thought of Kensington giving this up.

Asking Kensington to get rid of this is like asking Barney not to be purple.

It would be like asking me to stop using social media {gulp.}

Its like asking her dad to turn in his badge. 

Try asking her Tama to stop boutique shopping for her and the sister girl.

Someone tell me. Can this really be done? 

Is there life after the pacifier? I know its coming. 

More to come on this. When it happens.     

My Style, Your style. Parenting edition.

I thought I would take an opportunity on my blog to talk about my style. I don't mean fashion people. I am no expert in that area so I won't try to even touch on it on my blog.

I am going to talk about my parenting style. Not that I am an expert on parenting, but I am an expert on MY style. I do it everyday. Its my job, all consuming, and I take it very seriously.

I did a lot of reading about parenting. I mean a LOT of reading. I spend quite a bit of time online looking for guidance on my journey of parenthood. I correspond with mamas all over the united states and bounce ideas off them on the many different facets of being a mom. I am so thankful for being able to talk to other parents, because doing this whole mommy thing alone would be nothing short of a disaster.

I choose a routine. I do it for me for almost all the same reasons I do it for my girls. I want my home and my presence to be a safe place. A place where they know what to expect. A place where there is no question about what will happen. I also want to simply keep order. If I didn't, I would fall apart in no time. It would not be good for anyone in my home!

So a typical day at our house looks like this, when Anslee is 2.5 and Kensington is 8 months:
7:30 girls up. Anslee breakfast. Kensington bottle.
8:00 Kensington solids (oatmeal mixed with a fruit)
9:00 Anslee either goes to school or all of us load up and go workout.
10:00 Kensington 1st nap of the day, If Anslee is home I play with her during this time
11:30 Anslee lunch
12:00 Kensington up, bottle and solids (usually a green veggie)
1:00 Anslee nap
2:30 If Anslee is at school, this is when I pick her up if not, Kensington is down for nap #2
3:30 Anslee up from nap and has playtime usually by herself
4:15 Kensington up from nap, bottle.
5:00 I start dinner
5:45-6 We eat dinner together (K usually has a yellow or orange veggie mixed with a green)
7:00 bath, Kensington bottle
7:30 Both girls are in bed. Kensington usually straight to sleep, Anslee talks to herself for a while :)

Of course this changes from time to time as needed when growth spurts happen or if we have a playdate. When Anslee goes to school we have to shift things around just a little bit. For the most part though, this is pretty much what we could be found doing most of the time.

I attribute Kensington sleeping so well now to being so bull headed and sticking to the schedule as best as we could through her 1st 3 months of life that were so difficult. Once she grew out of her colic, she knew what to expect and eased right into taking regular naps and sleeping soundly at night. This helps Tyler and I be better parents, because we are rested each day and ready to tackle each day as it comes. We also get a couple of hours before we go to bed to just be us. We get to have our time together and be just a couple...a couple not only pouring into the kids but pouring into each other as well. We know we are guaranteed that time every day and take total advantage of it.

Tracy Hogg, author of The Baby Whisperer classifies babies into different personality types. Angel, Textbook, Spirited, and Touchy. Anslee was a textbook baby all the way. If "they" said she should being "x" milestone at "y" months, she did. If "they" said she would probably have a growth spurt at a certain age, she did exactly as the books said. So parenting her by the book was easy.

Kensington is a spirited baby. She has a little more sass, is a little bit unpredictable...just a little bit harder to read. She wants what she wants when she wants it. She is a spirited baby, turned textbook with how I parent her and the schedule we have set up for her. Now that she has fallen in line with our routine, she is a bit easier to read and so parenting her has been quite a bit easier over the last several months.

We do routine. Every member of our family has their own bed. Anslee sleeps in her bed every night. She wont even get out of her bed without one of us coming in to get her in the morning. Kensington, has a bed and she sleeps there every night. Tyler and I have our bed and that is where we sleep. We made that decision before Anslee joined our family, and we are so glad we did. We all know how to fall asleep on our own by ourselves. I refused to fight a toddler or young child every night about where they should sleep. We made their bed their special place and now they like their own bed. We spank when we need to. (Not Kensington, dont worry.) Thankfully, spanking is not something we have to do all the time.

We spank when disobedience is blatant. We are calm and not angry when we do it and we talk to Anslee about why we are doing this. We do time-outs when Anslee becomes disrespectful. This happens more often than out right disobedience. Disrespect and disobedience are two things we will not tolerate and we are instructed by God to correct our children when they fall short.

We took a liking to this style because it forces you to make parental decisions from the beginning. Through trial and error, and getting to know your baby, you become confident in deciding when they eat and when they play and when they sleep. It makes you watch your baby closely for cues, but you clearly make the decisions for them. I just don't like the idea of a baby running the household. I like that with these philosophies, from day one, you are the parent and they are the child. You make loving and caring decisions based on their needs and what is best for them and what is best for your family. This is why we chose this style. Its not for everyone, and that is ok. It doesn't make me a bad parent for choosing this and it doesnt make anyone who chooses not to parent this way a bad parent. Its a difference in style and opinion. That is all.

I decided to write this post because when Kensington was about 7 weeks old, one of my facebook friends (a girl who went to high school with me) sent me a hateful message saying that I was starving my newborn by not feeding on demand and that since I did not let her sleep with me, she would not attach to me properly. She then told me if pained her so much to see pictures of my girls knowing they were being so mistreated that she needed to de-friend me on facebook. She did.

She de-friended me. Now, it was clear to me from her facebook posts that we did not have the same parenting strategies at all. That was ok with me. I was not bothered in the least that she parented differently from me in every way possible. It was also clear that we did not agree on our views of religion or politics so I was not surprised when our parenting styles were essentially polar opposites.

I had not spoken with this facebook friend in over 7 years. I also never felt that it was my place to let her know my opinion or my thoughts on the way she parented her son. She never asked for it, and honestly, I was not going to be the one having to deal with her child, so it was in no way beneficial for me to contact her to let her know what she was doing was not the way that I would chose. I assume let her go about her business and I would go about mine. I wish she would have had the same respect for me.

I am ok with differing opinions and I would never think that because I do something one way that it should be the way that EVERYONE should do it. You can have your style and I will have mine. Its all about whatever works for you, and this is clearly what works for me and I have seen my babies thrive wonderfully on the set up we have. I would not trade it for the world.

I have two well rested, well adjusted, properly attached, sweet little girls. They have two well rested and happy parents to care for them.

We are happy and healthy, and hope you are too. No matter what plan you are on!

Photo Dump

I don't have much to say, but I do have some pictures to share.

These are just random pictures that I took with the iphone camera (thank goodness for camera phones, right?)


Can someone tell me when she entered her teen years?
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This little stinker caught a cold this past week. Off to the Doctor we went.



Just being the sweet sisters they are!



Headed to the annual Brownwood Reunion!



Petting goats! Pregnant ones at that!



Playing in a giant tub of corn kernels. What could be more fun?



Loving that this girl can hold the bottle herself now. Hoping that the bottle stage is quick, ready to be on the cup full time! (they are easier to wash!)

7 months, Real quick before 8 months happens.

So it feels like I went to sleep in January and woke up in September. She is almost 8 months old now.

Last I remember sweet Kensington was 6 lbs 8 oz and coming home from the hospital. She was colic stricken and seemed unhappy most days. She could care less about sleep at night not to mention naps during the day, but she sure smiled a lot. Odd I know.

Well, now, I have my sweet, bubbly, crawling, signing, babbling baby girl. She pulls up to standing now. I had to get rid of all 3-6 month clothing. She wants to eat non stop. Get this: She takes 2 good naps each day and sleeps an amazing 12+ hours every night. I knew if colic didnt kill us, it would just be a distant memory, and that is honestly so true. We survived, and I am glad we did because now we get to enjoy a very happy, content, normal "sleep needs" baby.

Just recently, Kensington moved right into the "little sister" role. Tagging along under Anslee's toe every where she went. We are working on patience and understanding that Kensington is "little" with Anslee. I also find myself telling Anslee that Mommy is in charge and will tell Kensington "No" when she needs to be told. Clearly, Kensington wants every item that Anslee has her hands on.


Ever thought your heart could melt 34980934 times a day? Mine does. Especially on car rides. I can hear the two "conversating". I turn the music down to nothing so I can listen. It goes something like this:

Anslee: Hiiiiiiiiiiii Tinkenson. Hiiiiiiiiiiii.
Kensington: squeal, squeak, belly laugh.
Anslee: Silly Tinkenson.
Kensington: belly laugh. belly laugh.

Its just the sweetest sister talk that was ever shared between such precious girls.

Anslee claps every time Kensington takes off in a crawl or pulls herself to standing. She is her biggest cheerleader, and most influential teacher already. Forget mom when the big sister girl is around.

I mean it when I say, NO ONE makes Kensington smile like or even as much as Anslee. A blessing that I will always be in debt to have.

I always knew I wanted more than one child, but I didnt know that this was why. Its nothing but a pleasure getting to watch them with one another.

I dream that they will not only be sisters, but life long friends as well. I hope that I can instill the value of that on both of their growing hearts!

Kensington is just growing like a weed too. She is 15 lbs. I have no idea how tall she is now, but I can tell you that we have moved into bigger clothes because she just grew right on out of the ones she had.

Size 3 diapers. longer hair. starting to sign.started on a sippy cup. all just reminders that she falls into the "older baby" category now.

So what happens when I wake up in January? She will be 1. I hope I dont blink too much between now and then. Wouldnt want to miss a single second of what is left of babyhood.

We love our sweet Kensington oh so much. Our family was forever changed and blessed by the addition of Kensington Kay!

9.11.01 - 9.11.11

I was 18 years old on September 11, 2001. Clearly, that morning started out just like any other morning.

I had 1st period off my senior year, so when the planes crashed into the north and south towers I was at home.

I was getting ready for school that morning to the tune of Power 103.7 in Abilene. I was beyond annoyed that for some reason they were not playing music. Clearly, I was in need of some Nelly, Usher, Brittney....but no, it was talk talk talk talk.

So then, I started listening to what all the talk was really about. They talked about the first tower being hit, and I remember being a little bit thrown off by that, but like the rest of the country, I thought it was an accidental issue.

By the time I got in my honda CRV and headed to school, the 2nd tower had been hit. I realized then that this day was a day to be remembered. A day in history. I needed to remember where I was and what my surroundings were.

I entered into a super somber Abilene High School. I walked down the hall, and realized every single classroom had their television playing. It was eerie quiet, as no one had any words to say.

That was the rest of the day. We watched TV. The bell would ring, we would walk to the next class in almost complete silence to watch more coverage. We watched as the Pentagon went under attack.

A calm and collected President Bush addressed the nation. America was clearly under attack.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



It is a day I will never forget. I remember being thankful that I was not directly connected to any one person who bravely died that day. I was deeply sorry for those who were not as lucky as I was. At 18, as much as of an adult that I thought I was, I realize now I was no where near mature enough to understand the impact this terrible tragedy had on our country.

Today, 10 years later, I sat and watched the news coverage about that day. The same way I did 10 years ago. Except today, I had a deeper understanding of the loss. The hurt. The severity of those events had on every single American. Directly connected or not.

I sat with my 2.5 year old, who pointed at the television and said, "Whats that, mama?"

I answered, "It was a day in history. You will learn all about it someday." I told her (and this is probably all she understood), "It was a sad day, Anslee."

Her happy heart was satisfied with that answer. I told myself she has many years to see such devastation, and that it was enough for her. The TV went off.

I tweeted earlier today that since 9.11.01 my life went from good to great. It has gone from happy to overwhelmed with joy. If on that day you would have asked me what my dream life would be, I would have answered you with the description of the life I live today.

06.01.02 I graduated High School

08.22.02
Began my College journey here.


05.07.06

I graduated College with a degree in Psychology.



08.02.06

I landed my first full time professional job. Human Resource Recruiter for Lauren Engineers and Constructors.





9.26.06

We went on our 1st (official) date.



05.22.07

I said yes.




12.09.07

I said I do


06.09.08

SURPRISE! We found out that Anslee was on her way!



09.26.08

Tyler Graduates from The Texas Department of Public Safety Academy and begins Trooperhood.



01.22.09

Welcome our baby girl, Anslee Elyse Moses. 4 lbs 11 oz 18 inches


09.27.09

We bought our first home!(picture obviously not taken in September, but its the only one I could find)



05.24.10

We were thrilled to find out that Kensington Kay was on her way!



06.19.10

My sweet and loving grandmother went to be with her Jesus. We miss her, but we are certain she is perfectly happy where she is at!



1.19.11

Our sweet Kensington made her very vocal arrival. Love that sweet girl.



As I reflect back on the past 10 years, I am so very thankful for what I have been blessed with. I am humbled in knowing that the Lord has answered my greatest prayers and granted me my hearts deepest desires.

I am also appreciative to those who fight daily for my freedoms. The very freedoms that have allowed me to experience the very richness of life that I have lived these past 10 years.

May the next 10 years be filled with the same joys, and might I never forget who to thank for the ability I have to enjoy this sweet life.

God Bless America!

A long post about Kensington. And some other stuff.

You like that title? Creative. I know. I know you were in great suspense as you clicked the link to open and read.

Ok. So lets just say it. Its over. "Its" is nursing. I dont even know where to begin. It was a fabulous, stress free, effortless, wonderful, meaningful, precious, and super sentimental 7.5 months.

From day 1, the girl would latch and eat without her nervous about breastfeeding mama to worry about. I was nervous about it because meet Anslee who was a breastfeeding disaster. That was what I had to compare too, and it scared me because I wanted more than anything to be able to nurse successfully.

Nurse successfully. I did it. I know. It didnt last a full year, but that doesnt make you successful in my book. What makes you successful is doing it until your baby is no longer being satisfied from it.

About 2.5 weeks ago, for about 3 days in a row, Kensington went back into her colic days. I was so confused. You see, I had been enjoying every ounce of her for months at this point and knew something was up. She was a happy go lucky baby turned fussy and mad. I was examining my diet. Nope, not a thing out of the ordinary. I was trying to tweak wake times to make sure she was not getting *excuse my bad mama language* OVERTIRED. (Its a dirty word in the mama dictionary for.sure.)

Nope. She was good with her wake times being 2.25 hours in the morning and 2.75 hours before her 2nd and last nap of the day.

Tyler, my most patient and super baby -in- tune husband, said, " Shea, it wont hurt to try her on some formula. Now that she is not completely and utterly insulted by the bottle, lets give it a try."

You know I thought he was a nut. I looked at him and immediately started crying at the idea. I reminded him how in the midst of colic, and mild post partum depression (another super long post on this in the future...when I am ready.) nursing was the one thing I had. The one thing I could count one that would always be "good" with Kensington. It was my comfort, my only comfort towards her for such a long time. I could not imagine letting that go.

I married a smart man. When I married him, I knew that even when he came up with wacky ideas and concocted silly plans in his pretty little head, I would have to give him a shot. I needed some guidance in her 3 days of non stop fussing, and that was what he came too.

After wiping my tears, and clearing my foggy thoughts, I said ok. We can try. Just a little. Not a lot. I was in no way going to give up. It was still so easy, and going so well.

Enter the next day: Kesnington nursed. Then basically in one big breath took in 6 oz of the powdery goodness.

Happiness. Coos and Smiles. Playing. My sweet girl, in one bottle was a happy camper. She did not fuss again until it was time for her to nap. (and this nap nazi mama was happy to oblige her request via fuss.)

Everyone knows my little girl (who UNLIKE her big sister in the food department) likes her food. Needs her food. Lets you know when its time for food.

So for the last 2.5 weeks, we have been weaning. In the last couple of days, I offered her a delightful session of nursing, to which she would accept for about 3 minutes. Then I was empty and she was still hungry.

Nursing is a supply and demand phenomenon. One of the best things our female bodies are able to do, no doubt. But when your baby's diet begins requiring other nutrients (via solids) and starts sleeping 12+ hours a night, the demand automatically (and nautrally) goes down thus the supply does as well.

I say we started weening 2.5 weeks ago, but really, if you think about realistically, weening started when she started eating solids (which she does like a champ) and then when she finally decided sleeping at night, and I mean all night, she started growing in great spurts. So her growing body was requiring more, but I was supplying less.

That does not make for a good combination...hence 3 days of fussing non stop.

I feel proud of myself. I feel VERY proud of Kensington. We made it. We did it. We were successful, and now we are on to the next phase in her life.

A phase full of sippy cups, finger foods, and so so so much more. I am excited.

In all reality, she will have formula for the next 4.5 months. I am good with that. She got all the goods from me that she could and I feel happy that I could do thathttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif for her.

Have you met my friend Amber? She gets a gold star for being a super mommy to sweet babyhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif Hudson.

Amber and I went to college together, but were not as good of friends as we should have been. Little did we know we had so much in common.

Hudson is FANTASTIC sleeper. Yeah, that little boy started sleeping 12 hrs and 12 weeks. Had Kensington beat by leaps and bounds. He is now a great eater. A happy baby. Yep - credit due to Amber because she worked hard to get him where he is. Seriously, she is a great mama and I know that she understands where I am coming from because her Hudson nursed until he simply could not any more.

All of that to say, Amber and Hudsons story encouraged me when I was feeling insecure about weening becuase I would be proud to be the kind of mother that Amber is, and she realized that Hudson was just needing more ounces than she was making.

Way to go Amber. You are a rock star! Hudson will know one day how incredibly lucky he is, and I hope he will tell you when he understands what a great mother you are.

Thank you also for your constant encouragement through the hard times with Kensington. I needed it more than you knew I did :)

So there you have it. Kensington is growing before my very eyes and her baby days are numbered. I am so blessed to be enjoying her the way that I am. She, along with big sister girl Anslee, fill my heart with joy. I am overflowing with thankfulness to mother them, and I am doing it in the best I possibly know how.

...and here she is happy and healthy as can be.